Oh, yeah?! Well...
Blogging has gotten away from me. COVID made it difficult. When the pandemic first hit, especially when Ashley, Eli, and I found ourselves cooped up together in our house, it was really rough. Ashley is an Enneagram 8. I am an Enneagram 4 wing 5, and Eli…well, he is six years old, a super cool kid, and if I had to guess, I would say he is an Enneagram 7. To be clear, I don't know much about all of the Enneagram stuff. Ashley and I took tests from the Institute, beyond that I have Googled, and that's about it. There are usually college classes, books to read, and Eli to keep up with. Life is busy. But I keep saying that I am going to get to understanding it better, when I have the time.
Back to blogging…I tried to get back into the swing of things a while ago but blogging just didn't seem to be something that God wanted me to be doing right then. Or maybe I was only not in the frame of mind to be sharing thoughts with the world. I had things that I wanted to share. There has been all this fantastic stuff God has blessed me with learning. Plus, I had some ideas for expanding the blog to a vlog or even a podcast. Then other areas of life received my focus. I allowed some of my own negative feelings about sharing what's on my mind, heart, and soul to put off writing where I simply needed to be obedient to God. This then allowed the rationalization of a solid year of blogging had to account for something. But, the truth is this blog has never been about being popular, getting likes, follows, or even being a platform for myself. It was and is about being a Servant to the Word. Both the Word of God, who is Christ, and the written Word of God, which is the Bible! If you don't want to hear about God, theology, or the Bible, this blog is not for you. If someone other than those I am accountable to such as God, my pastor, my church and the leaders I serve under don't care for how I share Jesus or how I talk about God impacting our lives even through the worst times, you can feel free to send me a message here; I will respond and pray for you. Lastly, if you don't want to hear about things that I deal with, while trying to deal with them as a believer: this blog is probably not for you, either. Unfollow. Disengage. If you have questions, feel free to message me!
However, I have felt convicted to get back into blogging and possibly vlogging or podcasting whatever God leads me to write up. Nothing super fancy. I am not a video editing guru, nor am I an audio expert. I press buttons, and things happen. Sometimes those things are great, sometimes not so much. Remember, I was locked up from September 11th, 1996 to November 13th, 2009, age 14-27. There was a lot about technology that I just missed. The fact that I know how to do any of this stuff only shows how awesome God is in allowing us to learn to adapt and overcome! Honestly, if you think about it, the fact I learned to drive at age 28, got my first real job in the free world at 28, discovered what insurance was, how to pay bills and etc. on top of having access to technology and the world wide web for the first time—it's pretty insane.
After my and Ash's joint testimony a few weeks ago, I have mulled over how to best explain what it was like to have lived through and been through what God has brought me out of. The only way I know to describe it is it was like being put in a dungeon, where I could read, wrestled with all of the emotions I had over Cierra's death, and how I was responsible for it even though I did not intend for it to happen. I was in a sort of suspended time-out from the actual world and was not advancing within it.
Then, at 27-28, I ventured into that unknown world, not unlike most 17-18-year-olds, only the system that housed me for 13 years basically gave me a $ 25.00 money order and said, "Good luck," as I walked out the gates. Suppose there was ever a psychological textbook case of an arrested development. In that case, I probably fit the bill in ways I don't even understand. At the time, I would have never admitted to it, but I was 27 going on 17-18.
I share all of that and encourage you to watch my and Ashley's story because if you don't know, let me tell you: God is amazing. He does not create our dire circumstances or the evils of the world. Those circumstances are a result of the Fall that occurred in the Garden when Satan tempted Eve and she gave in. Then Adam chose to follow his flesh (which literally was Eve since she was made of his rib and body). God did not choose the Fall for us. Man did. Same way we still, to this day, choose to do whatever it is that we do! Whether it is eat that extra food that puts the unhealthy weight on us (gluttony), drink too much until we are tipsy or wasted (drunkenness), desire another person who is not our spouse whether it is with our eyes (lusting after another or engaging in porn), our heart (becoming emotionally attached beyond what is appropriate) or even flat out committing the physical act of adultery (premarital or extramarital, it is ALL classified as adultery by God). These are all choices that we make and none of us wake up going, "I am going to totally have a field day with that forbidden fruit today. I deserve it!" But if we are not obedient to God, it doesn't take much to find ourselves being cast out of the Garden, or for us today... cast out of social circles, our homes because all our stuff is literally to the left, to the left, and this even happen at jobs. But those are always a result of our choices. Not God's. If anything He has always been the one trying to protect us from all of the fall out of bad choices.
From the beginning, we see the Spirit of God hovering on the water's face, God the Father, creating that which we call earth by speaking the words. Through the power of the Word, all things came into existence. Consider how God created everything in Genesis 1 from the lens of John 1:1-5. From speaking the words, to "Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness." (Genesis 1:26). The evidence of the Holy Father, Son, and Spirit are present from the very beginning! This is the same God who told Adam and Eve they could eat of all the trees in the garden except that one in the middle. God warned them that if they ate of it, they would die. But then the Serpent came along and twisted the facts. But, even after Adam and Eve screwed up, we see the Word that would become flesh is even predicted in Genesis 3:15 to one day strike the serpent's head. The Lexham English version says, "I will put hostility between you and the woman, between your offspring and her offspring; he will strike you on the head, and you will strike him on the heel." Some translations say crush your head, rather than strike. Scholars call this the First Gospel, mainly since most word-for-word translations translate offspring in the original context of "her seed." Since 'seed' is usually a male aspect, scholars point to the understanding that Christ would come to crush to the Serpent's head and be born of a Virgin as far back as Genesis 3:15.
So, God has been working out His good from the onset of the Fall. He does not create our unfavorable circumstances. He merely takes those of us who choose to be obedient and turns the negative events into that which He may be glorified through. No matter what we have been through, where we have been, what we have done, the guilt and shame we carry, or the depravity that we have lived in, God forgives. He is waiting on us to accept Christ so He can start working all things to the good of those who love Him. Trust me, He has done it in my life! Oh, yeah?! you might be thinking. Well... yeah. I wouldn't be here today several times over if it weren't for God.
Until Next Time,